Holy fuckballs, it's been a long time. I don't even remember what the fuck I bitched about on here last... was I still in the Wild Wild West, minus Will Smith? Was I already back East and bitching?

I'm noticing a bitch trend...

Mention of trend, I've come to realize one of my classmates (oh yes, at the ripe old age of almost 30, I am once again a student) is either on meth, or fucking narcoleptic. The bitch has fallen asleep in class, WHILE STANDING UP. I've only seen horses, and cows do that. She's neither equine or bovine, believe me, I've given her a very careful assessment from afar.

And the kicker? Bitch is PASSING WITH FLYING COLORS.

I began the actual hands on portion of my continuing education today, and while it was fun, there is also a slight problem.
No smoke breaks. At all. From seven a.m. until half past noon, no smoking.
I'm going to kill someone.

She Who Birthed Me had a few weeks where she seemed to be the unwanted offspring of Chernobyl and 3 Mile Island all rolled into one cranky little package. Told me I was not being smart, I was making stupid mistakes, I didn't need to be dating an awesome guy, and I should be doing nothing at all but going to school, working full time, and being lonely.
In other words: she was miserable and thought I should be to for her sake.

Oh! Yes! Dating! Oh, well, that is one thing I don't have to bitch about. See, after I got back East, it was like the male gender remembered I had a vagina. Yes, I was shocked too. Even more shocked when the guys who wanted to use aforementioned vagina took me out on actual dates. Like, where you have to sit down and eat with real silverware, not the plastic crap from Sonic.

I ran through... let's call it a 'few' guys once I got back in the dating pool, and while it was fun, I was not looking to get married or seriously date ever again. Did you know most men in this area are giant vaginas? And not the fun vagina either- they're like blue waffle vag that is slimy and gross and no one ever wants near it ever again.

Then I got hooked up with Brandon by a mutual long term friend of ours who proved just how well she knows us in the fact she demanded we start talking. And then sits smug when everything works out.
Now I'm halfway married, friends are picking out what features we need to pass onto future offspring, and how my middle and last initials would be the same. Oh, and when is a good time for a wedding. And suggestions on where.

I am on countdown for school to start on Monday. I am very eager for school. The kids? Not so much. With 2 teens, and 1 preteen (not counting the pre-schooler) my summer has been awash in teen hormones, teen attitude, and teen angst.
I am tired of all the teen drama.
I am tired of Left for Dead being played on the Xbox.
I am tired of the constant refrain "we have NOTHING to eat!"
The eye rolling... OMG, do not get me started on the eye rolling!  Some days I would like to just duct tape their eyeballs into one place

Today, I informed the boys of their hair appointments - time for the summer shaggy hair to go away and be trimmed up! You would have thought I was announcing an upcoming death march. Not a good day to mess with mama, boys. Be nice, or it will be buzz cuts for everyone!

I had plans to redo my family room, nothing extravagant on a microscopic budget. I was really excited about it. Was...

Then came "The Great Possible Job Lead in Oregon."

Now I feel like I am in this push/pull, stop/start mode. I don't know what will happen so I don't know if I should continue making my home here or start to detach and pull away from it. Over the weekend I think I basically decided to continue on as if nothing has happened because, the truth is, nothing has happened. Somebody said they had a job lead, someone asked for a resume... that's nothing that hasn't happened more than a few times over the last year with local companies anyway.

We haven't even given anyone a resume yet... I think it's coming probably, but it hasn't happened yet. And, who knows what may or may not happen after that. So, it seems ridiculous to just freeze up and not do anything at all.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my husband's coworker/boss (because she can't ever decided which she is and being the owner's daughter does come with implied clout regardless) is planning on leaving for two weeks in September for a big, family Hawaiian vacation - along with anyone else in the company she is related to (her father and son) which leaves quite a big hole to cover for practically just my husband. This, of course, spins me back around to "fuck all this shit let's get the hell out of here" mode, especially when she calls him today to tell him she is taking two sick days for a surgery she is having.

Did I mention she has better insurance than we do? We weren't even offered the plan she is on - so whatever she needs, she gets, whatever we need is held up and procrastinated over by the HMO we are attached to - like the hip replacement surgery they say my husband is too young to have, but if we were on her insurance it would have already been done by now.

All this makes me want him to find another job almost anywhere because I just can't stand it anymore. The desire to up and disappear then brings me back around to wondering why am I going to the trouble of making new valances for my family room?

It's the never ending cycle... and I'm not sure how to break it.

OldestBoy(17) is getting geared up for his Senior year and looking at colleges. We seem to be having an issue with this. He wants to go away to a college hours away and we want him to stay here and go to a local college for his first two years and then transfer to the bigger college. Totally a cost-saving measure. The first two years are just getting the basics out of the way so he can do that here at half the price it would be there. His reason for not wanting to do this? "That's like being a Freshman twice!" My reply flew out of my mouth before I could stop it, "Who gives a shit if you're a Freshman twice?" OB really doesn't like cursing and this effectively ground the conversation to a screeching halt. Which was probably for the best because I was getting ready to drop a verbal atom bomb on every one.

If money weren't an issue?  I'd really like him to go away to college just because my niece is coming to live with us for a couple of years starting next year's school term and it would be easier to put her in his empty bedroom than build a make-shift room for her.

 I've told Husband that college is his thing to deal with. I'm not going to let myself get pissed off about things that I don't really have a say in anyway.

 Stupid ass Senior photos? A flyer came home weeks ago and I've been telling OB and Husband that they need to pay attention to this shit if they want it done. I'm tired of being the one to remind everyone when there are deadlines for things. But who got to call after the deadline for making appointments and grovel one out for OB? Yeah. And when I asked him if his mother had looked at the photo packages to see if she wanted any he said no. So fuck it. I booked him for just getting his picture in the yearbook and later a friend of mine may take some photos of him to send out in his graduation announcements. I told Husband if he bought a picture to pass on to the exwife that I'd chop his pinkies off.   She can find time to carry her ass to the portrait studio and get her own damned photo.