Viva la change! Or some shit.
I'm getting ready for a second big move in less than a year. I came out to BFE in hopes of finding myself. And I kind of did. I realized I'm a city girl to the bone, and while nature is awesome, I like my pizza delivered and my transpo of the public variety.
I am going to start nursing school. Well, I plan on it anyway.
And I'm probably going to be looking to make another move in the next few years after getting my LPN.
You see, I'm running home to Mama. And nursing school. Mainly Mama and family and friends who don't give a flying fuck about my parentage and that I'm weird and have a brain that has weird bursts of genius. They love me, get my jokes, and know that when I pet them, it's because I'm stresesd the fuck out.
But Mama isn't going to be staying when I get there (yes she is, but not after the new year, she's looking for her own pot at the end of the rainbow), which is fine. That woman has done more than enough for me over the years, I'm not going to hold her in place if she wants to go somewhere else that will make her happy.
That being said, I'm going to be hunting up a roommate of either gender to help with the bills, because I know I can't float a house on my own. Which fucking sucks when I'm a goddamn grown up and can't afford a house payment and bills.
After I get my LPN, I will need to find a new school to get my RN, because the college I'm going to does not have an RN program.
That brings me to the other change that might come to pass.
California. The land of silicone, earthquakes, hard bodies, and L.A. weirdos. I figure, I've managed to make it through the worst Montana can throw at me, why not try my hand at the land that is rumored to be the next great island resort. Maybe I'll get lucky and a hottie in LA will decide I'm the woman he can't live without and he'll keep in a lifestyle to which I could quickly become accustomed. (Let me have this bubble, I have so few)
That being said...
... I'm terrified of this shit. Fucking. Terrified.
I want to crawl in my bed, pull the covers over my head, plug my ear buds into my head, and just zone the fuck out. If I could, I'd bliss out on bud and good beer and figure out the secret of space travel. This the same fear kept me married to an emotionally stunted, cold, mean man who would just as soon slap me down as hold my back. And I'd rather be cold and dead than let another person hold my strings that way.
I'm getting ready for a second big move in less than a year. I came out to BFE in hopes of finding myself. And I kind of did. I realized I'm a city girl to the bone, and while nature is awesome, I like my pizza delivered and my transpo of the public variety.
I am going to start nursing school. Well, I plan on it anyway.
And I'm probably going to be looking to make another move in the next few years after getting my LPN.
You see, I'm running home to Mama. And nursing school. Mainly Mama and family and friends who don't give a flying fuck about my parentage and that I'm weird and have a brain that has weird bursts of genius. They love me, get my jokes, and know that when I pet them, it's because I'm stresesd the fuck out.
But Mama isn't going to be staying when I get there (yes she is, but not after the new year, she's looking for her own pot at the end of the rainbow), which is fine. That woman has done more than enough for me over the years, I'm not going to hold her in place if she wants to go somewhere else that will make her happy.
That being said, I'm going to be hunting up a roommate of either gender to help with the bills, because I know I can't float a house on my own. Which fucking sucks when I'm a goddamn grown up and can't afford a house payment and bills.
After I get my LPN, I will need to find a new school to get my RN, because the college I'm going to does not have an RN program.
That brings me to the other change that might come to pass.
California. The land of silicone, earthquakes, hard bodies, and L.A. weirdos. I figure, I've managed to make it through the worst Montana can throw at me, why not try my hand at the land that is rumored to be the next great island resort. Maybe I'll get lucky and a hottie in LA will decide I'm the woman he can't live without and he'll keep in a lifestyle to which I could quickly become accustomed. (Let me have this bubble, I have so few)
That being said...
... I'm terrified of this shit. Fucking. Terrified.
I want to crawl in my bed, pull the covers over my head, plug my ear buds into my head, and just zone the fuck out. If I could, I'd bliss out on bud and good beer and figure out the secret of space travel. This the same fear kept me married to an emotionally stunted, cold, mean man who would just as soon slap me down as hold my back. And I'd rather be cold and dead than let another person hold my strings that way.
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2 comments:
You may be terrified but I think you are one brave motherfucker. I less than three you.
California is way more than that. Come to the arm pit and I'll show you... there are parts of me that deeply love it here and other parts of me that want to run for some remote farm ala Funny Farm (Chevy Chase) or Baby Boom (Diane Keaton) ... considering where you've been for the last year - it can only get better.
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