Right about the time you think you are ready to break free and take your life in a new direction just about any ugly thing in your past will crawl out from under a rock to fuck with you. In the last month alone I've had my long-lost MIL, long-lost ex-best friend, and one or two other assorted bits of nastiness leap into my path.

I'm trying to figure out what it all means in the big picture because I don't believe in coincidences. I think things come up to be dealt with - I just have no idea what or how to deal with them. Since the only consistent thing in life is change... I've elected at the very least not to fight it and at the very most hope to have a moment of enlightenment that explains what this mess really is and why its going the way it is.

All I wanted to do was shag ass. Get the hell out of dodge. Move to a place as rural as I can possibly afford and still be able to get my husband to his job. I still want that, it just looks a little more complicated than I originally thought. Right now there is nothing more I can do than to just throw my hands up at the universe and say, "Alright then. You do it. I'm stuck."

And that... is where I sit. Desiring change, welcoming it and yet... trapped in limbo.