Ok. So, I'm pregnant and it's freaking me out.

I look at my abdomen, poke it and think, "Holy shit! There is SOMEBODY in there!"

I'm walking down a flight of stairs and worry about falling down because that could knock my little human loose.

Husband uses some medication that pregnant women aren't even supposed to touch so I stay farther than an arm's length away from him after he uses it.

If I'm driving in the car and smell cigarette smoke from someone outside I take a big breath and hold it as long as I can, hoping that it will be gone by the time I need oxygen again.

If I roll over violently I worry that I'm disturbing my hitchhiker.

I take lukewarm showers instead of the boiling hot baths I love so I don't nuke the baby.

I'm normally a mean-ass, rather hateful person who tries to injure people with my thoughtbeams and I'm trying to tamp that back because I don't want my black thoughtbeams to freak out the baby. On the other hand, when I can't hold back mean thoughts, I tell myself that it's toughening the baby up. Maybe I should cover my belly in tinfoil to shield it from my thoughtbeams.

I'm going to go batshit crazy before giving birth.