Random bitching, just for you.

Dear Everyone: it is not "dood". Or "duuuude". Or even "dudddde." It is "DUDE" you fucking morons.

Dear Woman I Cannot Stand: Please, listen to your gut. It's right. None of us can fucking stand you, the sound of your voice drives us to homicidal urges and ulcers. Please, shut up. Or choke on a dick, either one.

Dear Roommate I Share Blood With: stop using my fucking toothbrush! Mine is one color, yours is another! Check the color before sticking it on your mouth!

Dear Male Friend: Yes, I've started fucking someone. Yes, that person is not you. Stop being a bitch about it and grow the fuck up. If I wanted to fuck you, I'd be fucking you. Being a pussy about it won't help your cause at a future chance of getting in MY pussy.
Asshat.

Dear Coworkers: I don't give a flying fuck if you don't like me. But drop the collective 'we' statements. There is no collective, and all it does is make me want to go stabbity on your ass.

Dear Everyone Else: You haven't pissed me off yet. Carry on.