Wait, I was supposed to throw a parade for *this*?

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I had to work on Mother's Day, which was the best one I've had in years. No one to remind me that I had no children, no one to remind that the children I did have were "born asleep". (worst fucking phrase in the world, hands down.)
I got a gift card to one of my favorite shops in the world, from an unknown sender. I asked my "admirer" about it, and they said it wasn't them. I, naturally, blew through the gift card as fast as my hot little fingers could log onto the website. I have a gift coming it's way to me via FedEx as fast as the postman can walk!
So Mother's Day started off pretty badass for me, all things considered. Until I got the text message from The Donor that it was his wife's birthday. Now, his wife and I aren't friendly. I'm pretty sure she dislikes me, and while I don't dislike her, I'm not putting myself out there when she's made her feelings clear to me through actions. I avoid her, she avoids me, we're both happy.
Since I did not promptly offer to throw her a parade, I am an uncaring person.
I called an old lover, because I needed someone to talk to, and halfway through our conversation they piped in with that they'd faded out of our conversation and hadn't heard anything I'd said for the last minute or so. I got off the phone with them, because, despite their honesty, I wanted to reach through the phone and rub their face off on the sidewalk.
Yes, tell someone you'd blanked out of the conversation, but Christ, it makes the person you were talking too feel like they're an unwanted invasion on your life.

I spent that night crying in my pillow.

2 comments:

Celeste said...

:(

That sucks all around.

Charlotte said...

You know? I admire so much that you just dumped off the phone. I can't stand it when someone admits to just "fading out" unless they were drunk or stoned or something... I get THAT... but just to fade out because, "Dude, I'm just SO in my own head right now..." isn't cool. It's shitty. And, I seem to be the kind of person that will go, "Oh, okay" and change subject because I feel like I wasn't entertaining enough for them. So KUDOS to you for just calling it like it is. I'm super sorry your day sucked. xoxo

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