I started daydreaming a couple of months ago. Where I would like to be, what I'd like to be doing that sort of thing. The truth is that I'm frustrated where I am right now. I feel like I'm in limbo, floating around waiting for something to change so I can act on it. That's where I sit. But, lately I've been accepting that and getting "right" with it as my spiritual guru might say. I've been sitting with and getting "right" with a lot of things lately that I never thought I would.

Nevertheless, here I sit and I'm not crazy about what I've got or where I am.

I started thinking about things that I had seen or read. "Under the Tuscan Sun" and yes, even "Gilmore Girls."

Then I started to look around online of course. What might I be capable of doing. I mean... really fantasizing and getting out there with it. I'd like an old farmhouse on several acres and I'd like to start farming organically. Additionally, I'd like to also have that farmhouse maybe even be a Bed and Breakfast of sorts. I'd also like to own my own bar with a kitchen. Notice, not a restaurant, a bar that serves decent food based on my whims. I'm fantasizing I can do that.

I found a gorgeous little parcel nestled into California's central coast, a blueberry farm on several acres with a quaint country house (less than 2,000 SqFt) and a barn. It was about 3 million. *sigh* But, if I could put down $300,000.00 the owner would carry the note.

;)

If I could chuck it all and start over that's the direction I'd be headed. Some little town like something out of Funny Farm or Baby Boom. An old house with lots of character and history, maybe even a ghost or two on a large parcel of land where you don't hear the neighbors but if you go into town at sit at the local watering hole long enough - you end up knowing everyone anyway.

My soul screams for this. I'm unhappy where I am. Deeply unhappy. I'm too close to relatives that even though I love them... I need space. I'm far too close to neighbors I can't stand.

Prices are dropping like flies around here and my husband and I have started poking around up in the mountain areas that are about 45 to an hour from the coast. We've found some perfect houses on large-ish lots for less than half of what we owe on the place I am now referring to as the "White Elephant."

I don't know what will come of it. I know I've got about a year, maybe two more here and then I'm really going to start actively going for it. Seriously. In two years my oldest daughter will be graduating high school. My son will either be at a local university here or, God forbid, he'll have moved down to southern California to attend a university with the girlfriend from hell. The littlest of the clan is homeschooled and I can go anywhere and still keep doing that.

So I'm going to... someday. Soon-ish.