I’m sick and bitchy and I don’t know how much sense all of this will make. I’m going to have a little blog vomit.

I’m ready to slap 2010 on its ass and send it running. In many ways, this has been a great year but in my mind? It seems like I’ve spent more time trying to feel “right” than anything.
As a step towards feeling better, I got all of my prescriptions filled today and plan on being sure to take those things every day. Even though they make me pee like a cow on a flat rock and wreck my “on the phone time” at work. I shouldn’t not take medication because I’m afraid of having to get up from my desk to piss.

I stayed home from work today with a cold (or something. The Plague?) and a backache with the hopes that I won’t lose my voice tomorrow. I was worried if I went in today that my voice would go and I wouldn’t be able to work tomorrow. It’s never a good idea to be sick and call out of work on New Year’s Eve.
Let me ask you all something...Do you think that men and women can just be friends? I say yes and Husband says no. This is why I haven’t mentioned to him yet that I’m having lunch with a male coworker on Sunday. I’m working a few hours of overtime that day and realized that I’d be getting off the same time that coworker goes to lunch. This is also coworker’s last day. The fine company that I work for is firing him over stupid shit but were kind enough to keep him til Sunday. We’ve worked together for years and I asked him to lunch as a “last hurrah”. I’m fairly certain that Husband is going to be extremely pissy about it so I’m waiting til the last minute to tell him. It’s easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission.

Watching porn, looking up weird shit on the internet....all of these things I do with no worry but since this blog has started I’ve been cleaning my history trail on a daily basis.





















I'm currently going through a bizarre phase where I don't feel like drinking and then when I do it feels gross so I really wish I hadn't. I've had a glass of red wine tonight and I'm stopping right there. Then tomorrow is, of course, one of the biggest party nights of the year and I'm going to go over to my dad's and I'm making chowder and my husband is grilling shrimp for my dad's annual New Year's party. I really don't want to go but, truthfully, my horoscope keeps saying shit like, "you'd really like to stay in but you'll feel better if you accept the social invitations around you and get out and have some fun." What's a girl going to do? Go and shoot tequila with her father, of course. But, for the first time I'm really seriously looking hard at ways to prevent a hangover because I think it would make me lose my mind and I'm only half-joking... mostly. So if anyone has any sure-fire tricks send them along - post them in the comments. Something. Please. Help a sister out.

I'm ready for the year to be over with, I'm ready to move on and hopefully into something better. I'm tired of sitting around feeling like the next tragedy is going to drop into my lap any fucking second.

And, while I'm bitching... can I just say that I'm seriously worried about my son and his girlfriend? I just don't think she's good for him. She enables his negativity, she encourages him to be on one self-pity trip after another and truthfully? I think she's like a little kid who rescues a baby bird and then doesn't want the bird to fly off. Do you know what I mean? I think that's how she views him, they got together about a month after he was diagnosed with cancer - she has babied him and bucked us every step of the way. While she babied him, I encouraged him to get back on the horse, to toughen up a bit and move forward because he was cancer-free and on the road to recovery. She on the other hand went into a depression and got him all upset every time his 6 months check ups rolled around. And, everyone can clearly see he's trying to come out of it and she's just clawing, digging and hanging on to every little bit of melodrama that she can. I'm tired of it and I have to wonder if he is as well. He looks happier and more at ease when she isn't around than when she is.