This week the Bitches of Blogwyck are going to confession. I'm not Catholic but I mostly agree that confession is good for the soul. To a certain extent anyway, at least when its done in relative anonymity with no actual consequences attached.

I'm not a meddler. Really. I grew up with a best friend whose mother was the queen of meddling. She meddled in her daughter's friendships in elementary school, the neighbor's business, other people's divorces that she had nothing to do with. If she could get herself mixed up into it and manipulate it, it was like a trip to Disneyland for her. She never did a favor for anyone if there wasn't a solid bonus in it for her or at the very least something she could hold over someone's head. Nothing and I mean nothing was ever done for purely altruistic motives. Ever.

Most of the time (read: 99.9%) I will go the opposite direction rather than come close to doing anything remotely like meddling.

Except for this one time. My son has friends constantly tripping in and out of the house. I never mind and for the most part genuinely enjoy them being around. Sometimes they use my computer and they usually ask. One of them used my computer regularly for school work because his lap top was down. But, isn't it just like the "quiet" one of the bunch to cause the most headache?

He had been playing around on some webcam site (not on my computer) and had met a girl. A girl who lived all the way across the country and depending on which story you heard - made her living at a local strip club. The boy in question was in college, taking classes to become a psychologist. She even flew out a few times to spend a week or so with him. She came over for a barbecue, she didn't look like a stripper. She seemed like a very simple, polite, quiet girl, very little make-up, thin (but not "I work a pole" toned by any stretch) and pretty but not extraordinarily so.

Okay, fine. Until, the girl started messaging me, my daughter, and my son's girlfriend. We got horror stories of the boy being controlling, cheating on her, threatening her and some of her friends. We thought she was ridiculous. She seemed paranoid, vacillating between him being the love of her life and a jerk who treated her like garbage. Then she would tell us to stop encouraging him to break up with her. We weren't. He barely spoke about the relationship to us.

We stopped communicating with her. She started communicating with my son's best friend and told him that no matter how many times she tried to break up with the guy that he told her they would always be in a relationship and she had no choice. We rolled our eyes, how ridiculous! She lived thousands of miles away, she had the advantage of distance if she wanted to break it off. Plus we knew she talked out of both sides of her mouth about him.

Then I started finding strange URLs in my browser history. Dating sites, urls clearly showing that someone had logged into HER fb account (when she lives across the country), then some website that was for sending money to people in jail. Meanwhile, he told us they were broken up and that he had even gone on a few dates with people who lived locally.

Finally one day I came in and when I opened up the browser it was logged into her Facebook account. I snooped around a bit and found out she was in jail. Further snooping showed she was still listed as being engaged to him. I couldn't figure out why he would be logged into her account if they were no longer together. So, I meddled. I switched her status to single and adjusted some of her privacy settings so I could see her wall and logged out. Later that evening he came over and got on my computer. A few minutes later I noticed him looking upset.

The next day I checked her wall and he had logged in and changed it back to her being engaged to him and had even posted on her status AS HER with big, dramatic declarations of eternal love for him! Then he even responded to some of her friends impersonating her as well. A few hours later her aunt came on and told people that it wasn't really her, that she had spoken to her and it was her boyfriend manipulating things. She went on to say how he was really mean to her and always made her cry.

So I installed keystroke recording software on my computer. The next night he came in and logged into her account, his own dating profile (messaging somewhere between 12 - 14 other women) and the convict connection site again. So he wants her status to appear as them being together - but, he's on a dating site trolling for women? Too bizarre for me.

The next day I logged in and this time I checked her msgs. A guy had sent her a message. He said, "I've missed hanging out with you, let's get together some time." And there was a reply. She didn't have access to the internet or her facebook where she was (which I had confirmed through public records) - so we can only assume who responded to the guy with: "Fuck u. I'm engaged. Fuck off."

Then I noticed there were other sent messages just as recent, these messages were threats to her friends. "I'll fuck u up."

So we contacted her aunt who had spoken to her. The aunt confirmed that she was afraid of this boy and wanted to break up with him but he wouldn't let her. That she had given the aunt her facebook account information so the aunt could log in but when the aunt tried to - the boyfriend had logged in ahead of time and changed the information so only he could log in.

Or so he thought.

I fixed that. All of it. I tied up any loose ends just in case he had access to her email as well. Then I deleted him off her FB, blocked him, and sent her aunt all the information. I also switched her privacy settings around so no one could see her stuff (sorry Celeste!) - I feel bad for judging her so harshly, even though clearly she's not innocent, right? I mean, she's in jail and she's a stripper. That screams, "I have issues." Also, I'm not holding out any sort of bizarre hope that I have rescued her or helped beyond giving her back control of her own FB account.

Also? I password protected my computer.

Since then he's acted increasingly strange. I don't think he suspects us as he still comes over wanting to use our computers. He uses my husband's where the monitor is in full view of everyone. Although, he's begun clearing out the computer history completely.

A couple of days ago he told my son that this girl is "begging" him to come back to her. He claims she's in rehab, again. My son's girlfriend popped up and said, "Oh, someone said they saw on her wall that she was in jail." and he looked stunned, eyes darting around, and then claimed that she was spending 15 days in jail to pay a fine and then had a mandatory month long rehab stint. Okey dokey. Only, she's listed as being in prison - not jail, and there is a difference and also? Where she is - there is a jail and a prison, two different locations, two different mailing addresses - her mailing address goes to the prison. That's not a 15 day for a fine stint.

The few times he's talked about her it's been to discredit her in some way. He'll tell us she's on heroin and he's trying to help her get off of it, he'll claim she's cheated on him but was under the influence of drugs at the time and didn't know what she was doing.

Most guys like their girls to look good to friends and family and I only know of a couple of reasons why a guy would purposely make a girl look that bad. Mainly - so no one will believe her when she complains about him and his behavior.

Whatever is going on in dysfunction junction isn't my problem. I've blocked the sites from my computers and I've done what I could do here. I'm washing my hands of it. Doesn't mean I'm proud of myself or think I've done something all that great, I'm a little disgusted I meddled, honestly.