Last week's editions covered our biggest pet peeves. Turns out we share a lot of pet peeves. This week I'm starting off with my bitch of the week which, as it turns out, is something that has really rubbed me the wrong way for years. Only, now I have a venue to bitch and complain about it.

Maybe I'm strange, maybe I have an odd definition of the term "conversation" - I'm willing to give that certainly men and women communicate differently. But, I can't stand it when you are having a conversation with someone (and maybe, it's just MY husband who does this) and they just stop talking. For example...


Husband: What time is it?
Me: It's almost 2 o'clock.
Husband: Okay, I need to make that phone call so I can go take care of that [whatever it was].
Me: Did you want [kid #3] and I to go with you?
Husband: If you want.
Me: Well, I can't help you with [activity at place] if [kid #3] goes...

*crickets*

Me: Also, [kid #3] still has lessons to finish up today...

*crickets*

We weren't on the phone, we were on our back patio. Standing there and he just stopped talking. I'm looking at him, he's not choking, he didn't lapse into some catatonic state, he's not drooling on himself he's just not talking.

Me: Helloooo?

Him: Why did you say that?

Me: Because you aren't talking.

Him: You didn't ask a question. What was I supposed to say?

Me: Uh, well, obviously we are discussing if I should just go on about my business and let you get on with yours or if we should combine our business here.

Him: There's no need to act like that about it.

Me: *blink* *blink*

Is this just me? Am I expecting too much attention here? Now, I've had this happen on the phone with people, usually they have gotten distracted or they are, you know, in traffic or something. I don't know what it says about a man standing there less than 5 feet from his wife who can't continue a conversation.




Why am I in charge of finding things that A) Aren’t mine and B) Aren’t mine?

If I had a nickel for every time my husband has woken me to look for his belt or his cell phone? I’d have a giant sack of nickels.

I spent 15 minutes scouring the house for his belt the other day as he growled around the house. He found it! Where was it? In the pants he’d worn to work the day before. Silly me, I did not look in the most obvious of places because I’d assumed that he would check the last place he had it before enlisting my help in The Hunt.

I cringe every time he asks where something is because he’s going to be grouchy until it’s found. I want to scream, “Why is it my problem to find something that I’ve never even touched?!” But I don’t. I smile and quickly look to find whatever it is that I’m supposed to magically keep track of.

And now I must go to look for a checkbook. To a checking account I do not use.





Why am I the one who is made to straddle the middle lane? To juggle everything and make sure it all stays up in the air? Especially when I'm not the one renegging on things?

That doubletalking something that makes my entire body break out in a cold sweat and my hands clench and my teeth grind. When someone tells me one thing, and then tap dances backwards out of it while I'm left holding the bag.

It doesn't happen often, mainly because I'm really damn picky about who I trust enough to put in that position. But lately, it's happened a lot. And I'm getting more and more aggravated, and they're (the ones who are just tapping away) just aren't getting it.


I don't get angry or up in their face.


I withdraw; it's the way I've always done.

I pull away, until they can't remember the last time we talked in person, the last time they heard me laugh, or the last time I smiled at them.

Pulling away, shutting them out, it's cleaner, neater, and saves on the drama of a huge blow out fight. I don't like big blow outs. It's like blowing up a building to take out a target, when a knife in the dark will do the job just as well.




My bitch for the week has got to be right up there with Charlotte and conversations. It pisses me off to no end when I am trying to talk to someone (and by someone, I mean the husband!) and they just stop listening or responding. I'm not talking to hear the sound of my own voice; I'm not talking because I just want to talk. No, I'm trying to tell him information that he needs to know and will be important later on.
Prime example was last night. We have relatives coming into town tonight, and we will go meet them at their hotel when they get in. I have made Husband aware of this plan on more than one occasion, including the time that they fly in. Last night he was amazed to hear of this plan. How could I not have told it to him before? And don't I know that the way I planned it doesn't work for him, because it means he would have to spend time in the car to get there?????? *gasp - the horror of it all!*


And he wonders why I mutter under my breath so much?