Nothing spells irony on Halloween like dressing up as a witch and having your kid sister who is much thinner with perkier boobs show up in jeans and a tight t-shirt that says "The *real* Wicked Witch." It was completely unintentional and only partially amusing.

My sister is sort of an ass, like most siblings, anyway. Halloween 1983 I went as a Geisha. I was 6, my mom didn't know what a Geisha actually was. I guess mom lived in a bubble, too bad she didn't stay there (bada bump! I'll be here all week, folks)...

Anyway, I posted a picture of me dressed as a Geisha on Facebook and my sister says something about her having to go as a cat that year. Except, she didn't go as a cat that year. She went as a witch. The year she went as a cat was the year my mom wanted us to coordinate and I was a witch and she was my black cat. I didn't argue it with her because she'd insist she was a cat and I'd have to spend most of an afternoon searching through photo albums to find the picture of us together at my grandparents house with her dressed as a witch AND the picture from another year with me as a witch and her as the damn cat.

I've got a bigger bitch anyway. There was the Halloween that I didn't get to trick-or-treat because I caught a stomach bug that I (in my little kid mind) swore was brought on by munching too many pairs of wax lips during the class Halloween party. When I was a kid we dressed up in our costumes for school and very little was accomplished that day - EXCEPT instilling some wicked childhood memories, which in my opinion, should hold at least some value in this "no child left behind" world.

There were many years I didn't dress up for Halloween, well, all of my twenties anyway. I was more interested in dressing my kids up and doing the whole trick-or-treat thing. Last year was the first year I dressed up since I was probably 14. This year I'm going as Lucy to my husband's Charlie Brown. But, that's the grown up party on Saturday, on the actual day of Halloween I'll be dragging my kids around the neighborhood and answering the door making sure to tell all the pretty princesses how beautiful they look in their gowns and to have a good time at the ball.