I find that the night is a good time to get even for any wrongs that happened during the day. My husband is a very deep sleeper. Also a sleep talker.
When he is feeling particularly full of piss and vinegar during the day - I just remind myself that he has to sleep.
There are some things I do that he knows about because I tell him. You can give him a jab, ask him where he’s at and he’ll describe his whole dream to you or have a crazy conversation. These things I do when I can’t sleep and want company. Not-lucid company is better than no company at all in my book.
But then...then there are the nights that I feel mean.
It really tickles my funnybone to flick the overhead light on and then off to see him flinch awake. Or wait until his breathing is good and deep and lean over and give him a sudden shake while telling him that he just said something to wake me up and then ask him what his problem is.
My favorite thing to do is give a short shrill scream while I’m being completely still in the bed. I can feel him sit up suddenly and he usually makes some sort of surprised kind of sound. Then he looks around, wonders aloud about what the hell is going on and goes back to sleep.
Do you know how hard it is to not shake the bed with your giggles? Very hard.
When he is feeling particularly full of piss and vinegar during the day - I just remind myself that he has to sleep.
There are some things I do that he knows about because I tell him. You can give him a jab, ask him where he’s at and he’ll describe his whole dream to you or have a crazy conversation. These things I do when I can’t sleep and want company. Not-lucid company is better than no company at all in my book.
But then...then there are the nights that I feel mean.
It really tickles my funnybone to flick the overhead light on and then off to see him flinch awake. Or wait until his breathing is good and deep and lean over and give him a sudden shake while telling him that he just said something to wake me up and then ask him what his problem is.
My favorite thing to do is give a short shrill scream while I’m being completely still in the bed. I can feel him sit up suddenly and he usually makes some sort of surprised kind of sound. Then he looks around, wonders aloud about what the hell is going on and goes back to sleep.
Do you know how hard it is to not shake the bed with your giggles? Very hard.
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6 comments:
I applaud your restraint- I'd have been laughing hard enough to fall off the bed!
My husband is a sleep talker too - he could never have an affair or work for a top secret company... I'd know all about it, because he will answer all sorts of questions in his sleep.
And thanks for the title - I've been singing "The Freaks Come Out at Night" all afternoon!
My husband only talks when he's stressed over work and usually it's to yell at someone for not doing their job right or for screwing something up.
It was super hard the other night to contain the giggles when I kept jabbing him. He was complaining about it last night at dinner swearing I tried to "bleed him out" the other night. I just kept telling him I was texting with you and it takes BOTH of my hands to do that with a blackberry.
Umm, that was supposed to mean he only talks in his sleep when he's stressed...
he talks the rest of the time. Unfortunately.
@Surreal - I made the bed shake once and he started to ask why I was laughing but fell back asleep in the middle of it. Close call!
@Dayle - I ask him stuff while he's asleep. I told him that it's to keep him honest. Heh. That song has been in my head for two days - hence, the title!
@Charlotte - Bwahahahahaha! "bleed him out"! You are so much braver than me. I can't bring myself to do anything that would leave any physical marks. I'll stick with messing with his mind.
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